A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:

"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least; however, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities; however, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign ALSO says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

The Law of If......

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you
when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,.

THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG!

I'm considering getting a dog.  Lab's are my favorite, but it will depend on what's at the SPCA.  My daughter is moving next month to start college.  My cats are too quite and sleep too much.  

I needed a dog fix.  If I keep having these uncontrollable urges I will soon be posting pictures on my new dog and my angry kitties.    

It's like......if you are wanting a baby.  You "borrow" someone else's everytime you have an urge.  Usually, afterwards you don't want a baby anymore.  If the urge keeps coming back, then you know you need one of your own!