Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:

"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least; however, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities; however, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign ALSO says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

The Law of If......

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you
when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,.

THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG!

 

I'm considering getting a dog.  Lab's are my favorite, but it will depend on what's at the SPCA.  My daughter is moving next month to start college.  My cats are too quite and sleep too much.  

I needed a dog fix.  If I keep having these uncontrollable urges I will soon be posting pictures on my new dog and my angry kitties.    

It's like......if you are wanting a baby.  You "borrow" someone else's everytime you have an urge.  Usually, afterwards you don't want a baby anymore.  If the urge keeps coming back, then you know you need one of your own! 

Excuse me, has this been used? 

When my daughter was little I used to get up early on Saturday mornings to go garage sale'n, porch sale'n, and yard sale'n for baby clothes, toys, and any other bargains I could find.  I followed every sign on a stick, a mailbox or a pole until I reached my destination.  I knew it was going to be a good day when I found the ones that said "neighborhood sale".  A garage sale paradise indeed.     

I was also so proud of being the first one there.  I knew that meant I wasn't going to miss out on the GOOD STUFF.  

Excuse me, how much is the leftover carton of decorated Easter eggs?  Will you take .75  .50 cents for the stale potpourri?  How much for the used tupperware? Does that include the melted lids? What about the beautiful floor rug covered in dog hair?  I know after I take it home, stuff it in my washing machine and pick off all the fuzz balls, it would be a bargain indeed and my garage sale'n day would be complete.     

I would often wondered though, can you find bargains like these at the local Goodwill store?  Will someone please tell me the difference between a garage sale and Goodwill?!  How come is it we will brag about the bargains we find at a garage sale, be proud that we conned them down from 2.00 to .75 cents for a set of dishes, invite our friends to come along with us and even wrap up a new toaster we found for 1.00 and give it to Aunt Betty for her birthday, but would never be caught dead in a Goodwill store buying that junk!  And we would never ask a friend to come with us.  In fact, if we did buy something from Goodwill we would tell our friends we bought it at a garage sale!  

I have always tried to pay attention to the artery clogging labels and the foods behind them. 

They say it is better to eat every 2-3 hours.  No problem!  But this isn't rocket science, I don't think they meant banana splits and bon bons.  So, I've taken a different approach.  Darn it.  

I've made up some snacks that actually have a flavor to them and are of a variety.  I have incorporated these into my daily, I mean....hourly routine of eating: 

First on the list:  Peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich.  Have you ever tried it?  You know how they saying goes, don't knock it till you've tried it.  If you're not a fan of banana's you substitute them for something like, ummm......tomatoes? or strawberries?  Hey, you might like it!  I on the other hand like banana's, so I've never had to rely on my other recommendations.  But if you have an urge to try it, let me how you liked it!  

Grilled Peanut Butter, Jelly and Banana Sandwich recipe.

Peanut Butter Sandwich Jigsaw game.

Second on the list: Rabbit food! spiced up with lots of salad dressing.

Third on the list:  My favorite......homemade ice cream, I mean homemade smoothies. I meant it when I said I've taken a different approach!  I say homemade because I make the ingredients up as I go.  Well, not totally.  I did read a couple of smoothie recipes to be sure I was getting the entire smoothie experience.   

I bought a very nifty smoothie blender and I love it because it requires NO COOKING! 

Most of my smoothies contain some or all of the following: 

Milk, orange juice, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, vanilla extract, yogurt, frozen oj concentrate, sherbert and ice.

Advocare meal replacement shakes.  These are also good in a smoothie.

Frozen grapes.  These are great snacks especially in the hot summer.

Another video worth checking out:

What Old People Do For Fun

How Smart is Your Right Foot?



This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change directions. I told you so. And there's nothing you can do about it.

This week’s questions are totally unrelated to one another; just a ‘pot pourri’ of randomness! Have a great week and thanks for playing!

1. When putting groceries away, do you rotate your food so your newest items (cans and such) are in the back, and older food in the front? Being a little anal that I am, I have my canned goods organized by the content. Everything has a place ;)

2. Do you own a digital camera? If so, how long have you had one? If not, do you plan to purchase one soon? Yes. I just purchased one AND a small printer that hooks up to the camera and prints the pictures right out. It's great!

3. How do you store your precious photos? I have several stored on my computer and the rest I have put in a scrapbook or they are in the "waiting to be put in a scrapbook" pile.

4. It’s 6:00 a.m. and you’ve just lost power due to a severe thunderstorm; they say it will probably take at least 12 hours before power will be restored; what do you do? Go back to sleep. ;)

5. How many times a year do you (or does someone dear to you) wax your automobile? Never!

6. Gas prices; what can we say except they’ve reached an all-time high. How are you dealing with this? I wish they were lower, but it hasn't stopped me from going anywhere.

7. Have you ever purchased a book or cd twice, forgetting that you already had it? No. I have some reading to get caught up on, so I haven't bought many books lately.

I'm back in texas and looking forward to getting back to my blog. i've missed you guys and my blog. i had this great idea upon my arrival back to dallas as i'm searching for a new place to live.

i thought to myself i'm tired of living in an apartment. i'm tired of ease dropping on all my neighbors arguments. it taught me a great lesson though, that if i ever thought i was having a bad day, I realzied it really wasn't that bad after all. i was tired of taking other peoples parking space because someone had stolen mine. and i was tired of stringing all my bags of groceries on both arms so i didn't have to make two trips up 3 flights of stairs.

so i found this cute little house for rent. i mean what the heck, i had already thrown a years worth of rent payments down the drain, what's another year?

i found this cute yellow house with huge trees larger than the house itself with a massive yard like i have never had before. (later i will learn why)

it's perfect i thought, i'll take it.

then summer came and all the winter leaves were still sitting 3 inches high and now the grass is starting to take off. yikes! i suddenly realized if i were in the lawn care business and this was someone else's yard, i could make a fortune on this one yard alone! then reality hits and i realize it's my yard.

so i venture out in search of a lawn mower. trying to see the good in this i think, well this is not so bad. i exercise often, heck i take kickboxing 3 times a week so mowing this should be a piece of cake! well, all i can say is i've gotten a new appreciation for 1/2 an acre!

i've never encountered bugs like i have here. i suppose living 5 minutes from the lake is to contribute to that. i've invested in car fulls of bug killer and i lost count of how many cans of wasp killer i have gone through. but it's sooo pretty. sorta like getting that outfit you couldn't afford and saying, "but it was on sale!"

hey, what's all the talk without pictures to back it up? so i'll leave you with a picture of my house with those lovely trees and my new outside cats that help keep my house exterminated.




CALI:


CALI & KITTY:

I don't really believe too much into horoscopes or palm reading.  I mean, horoscopes are written so generic sure they are going to apply to someone out of a billion people.  But I do have one confession.......uhh...........I mean story to tell.

About 3 years ago my boyfriend and I were walking down lower Greenville in Dallas.  That's a popular street filled with restaurants, bars, live bands and shops.  Makes for a fun eventful evening. 

While we were walking I see a sign "Tarot Cards Read Here".  Me being the adventurous person that I am, I thought what the heck.  I've never done it before and I just want to see what it's like, if it's really true or not.

So, we go in.  She takes me first to this little dim lit room filled with candles. Very relaxing, I was ready for a massage.  We sit across from each other at this tiny table.  She starts shuffling a deck of tarot cards.  Then lays them down one by one on the table.  She then selects some cards and discards the other ones.  She lays out the cards she selected face up on the table.  Then she starts telling me the following:

The first thing she said was my boyfriend is very confused right now, LOL!!  

To my amazement, she was right!  He was going through some very very tough times with his family and he was hurt.  Although we dated for about 3 years and it did end.  Just as she guessed.  Strange, huh?

She also said I would be coming into some money in the near future.
A few months later, I got a raise!

She mentioned a couple of other things that I remember were also true, but because of old age I cannot recall them at the moment.  None the less, I was and still am completely amazed how she knew these things. 

She never asked me any questions, so she had idea about my life.  

I can't say I will never do this again, because I just might.   But, if I do I will be preprepared to expect it to be true.     
 

Here's a little poem since it's getting close to Valentines Day.  But really, one has nothing to do with the other.
 
A poem for computer users over 30:

A computer was something on t.v.
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
A ram was the cousin of a goat

Meg was the name of my friend
And gig was a job for nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes

An application was for employment
A program was a t.v. show
A cursor was profanity
A keyboard was a piano

Memory was something you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-inch floppy
You hoped nowbody ever found out

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back-up happened to your commode

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was the flu

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But I've heard it plenty times said!