When I walk in the door, speak English to me!  I cannot understand that other language you speak.  You're in America now, learn how to talk to me.

Don't make me wait!  Don't you know I can just walk next door and they will gladly take me right in?  I want my nails done and I want them done now.  I have places to go and things to do.

Where is the automatic massage chair to sit in while your doing my nails?

Never and I repeat, never assign the male manicurist to do my nails.  I mean, how many times has he had acrylic put on his nails? nail tips? painted?  Thought so.  I want someone with experience.    He can't possibly know how important this is.

I want my own personal nail tools assigned just to me with my name on it.  So when you cut me it won't have germs from all the other people you've cut that day. 

Remove all my finger nail polish, that means the polish on the side of my nails too. 

Repair all the nails that broke.  Don't charge me extra for that, if you had done it right last time they wouldn't have broke in the first place.

When you cut and file my nails, make sure they are straight and all the same length.  Remember, competition is tough.  I can always go next door you know.

Stop talking to your family (coworkers) in that foreign language.  You are doing my nails and I would like to think you are focused 100% on me.  Besides, I don't like wondering if you're talking about me or not.

I know you have others waiting in line, but slow down!  This is me pampering me day, so I prefer not to be stressed over worrying that any second you will cut my cuticle because your yapping to your family while working on me with that drill looking thing.   

When you paint my nails don't put a massive glob of polish on them.  Don't you know that takes hours to dry and I'm in a hurry!   

You must have the automatic nail dryer that cooks the polish for 3 minutes.  That's all I want to wait.  3 minutes and they should be dry and ready to go.  Don't make me have to wait 5 minutes or 10 minutes depending on how big the glob of polish you put on is.  Remember, YOU are pampering ME and I'm in a hurry!

And after all this you want a tip?

The bad news is that you're going to contract a weird, incurable disease. The good news is that you
get to choose -- either you'll never be able to go outside again (something about sunshine and fresh air being suddenly toxic, I imagine), or you'll suffer horrible nausea when communicating with people in any way (e.g., talking, writing, typing, etc.). Which would be the lesser evil for you, and why?

I would rather not be able to go outside again then turn into a vegetable.

You have a device that allows you to stop time, and move around among the temporarily 'frozen' world. Unfortunately, you never know how long the effect is going to last -- it can be anywhere from a few seconds to several months. Do you use your new toy, and if so,
for what?

If it would stop everyone except me, I wouldn't use it.  That would just be too weird.  Oh wait, then again maybe not.  I would stop everything and rob as many banks as I could.  Then when time started again I would be rich and they wouldn't have any idea who did it.

Many, many years from now, just before you die, you'll be able to project one image to a single person anywhere in the world. What image would you send, and to whom would you send it?

Geeze, I have no clue.