Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat


Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat



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Monday Madness

1. Do you have a photo blog? If so, feel free to share the link with us!

No, this is my next undertaking!  I scrapbook and have a huge collection of pictures waiting for a home, it will be nice to have them all in one place.  

2. How many pets do you own, and what are their names? If none, have you had a favorite pet in the past?

You can see some of my pets by scrolling down.  I have 4 cats, Biscuit, Callie, Bertha and Hubert, along with two new litters of 5 from Callie and 4 from Bertha.  The last litter they had, I ran an ad giving them away, I received 50 phone calls in 2 days!  I didn't know kittens were in such high demand, so this time I'm charging $50  a kitten!  What'da think?

3. How many times a week does the carpet in your house get vacuumed? No carpet? How many times a MONTH do your floors get mopped?

Never, there's no carpet in my house.  I wish there was, my hardwood floors are dust magnets!  I usually sweep every week.  I mop the main rooms, about once a week.  The other not-as-used rooms gets mopped maybe 2-3 months.

4. Which room in your house do you spend the most time in?

The living room since that's where my computer is! 

5. Have you read any good books lately?

I'm not an avid reader, but I'm currently reading To Kill A Mockingbird.  Yes, I've never read it and everyone tells me it's a good book.

6. What is your biggest source of news? (Newspaper? Television? Radio? Other?)
I usually watch it on t.v. while I'm reading it on the Internet.
 

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Posted on Sunday, July 30, 2006 @ 10:41 pm by MsMarti
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Sunday Carnival: Favorite Things Theme

Many things came to mind as I'm sure it did for most of us.  Besides the obvious things such as my family, friends, and my favorite church, I have narrowed it down to one thing that I love to do everyday (besides nap!).  Morning, noon and night, no matter what happens in a hectic day of events, laughing is like putting a scoop of ice cream on a piece chocolate cake that just came out of the warm oven.  

I hope you get a chuckle from one or two of these, as they say "laughter is the best medicine".

Golf for Beginners

Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Kitchen Signs

Here are a list of signs found in kitchens across the United States:

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

Sunday Carnival Participants

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Posted on Sunday, July 30, 2006 @ 09:08 am by MsMarti
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File Under:
Saturday Photo Savenger Hunt: Pets

Feeding Time!

These are my new baby kittens, they are 5 weeks old.  This is the second litter for the mama kitty-Callie.  Callie is short for Calico.       

The white cat is Hubert, he's a little spoiled and confused, Callie is not his mother!  

 

PSHunt
Grab the Scavenger Hunt code.
Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

 




Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 @ 06:49 am by MsMarti
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Tour of Homes

Welcome to the tour.....Come on in! 

I live in a small town, country home with lots of trees.  Did I say LOTS of trees!  It's very cozy, quite and has a nice country feel.

This is the outside view.

 My kitchen....

This is my dinning room filled with lots of pictures and my new  sewing machine.  

This is my living room blog area.  

  And last but not least, this is one of nine new additions! 

 




Posted on Friday, July 28, 2006 @ 06:05 am by MsMarti
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Tour of Homes

Come join me in BooMama Blog Tour of Homes

Sign up ends this Friday.




Posted on Thursday, July 27, 2006 @ 06:08 am by MsMarti
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What's Your Blog IQ?

What's your blog IQ?  Take the quiz to find out how you rank in the blog world.   

Blog IQ




Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 @ 06:01 am by MsMarti
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File Under:
Texas Hijack

Gunman hijacks 18-wheeler in Texas
Big News Network
Monday 24th July, 2006  (UPI)


A gunman is being held on aggravated kidnapping charges after hijacking a truck and leading Dallas police on a three-hour chase through four counties.

Samuel Scott Jones was captured after his female hostage fled the truck and police fired tear gas into the cab of the 18-wheeler, the Dallas Morning News reports.

State troopers shot out the truck's tires and radiator forcing it to a stop in the middle of Interstate 20.

Police think the incident began when Jones hijacked a car in Carrollton and drove to a truck stop in the town of Fairview where he approached a husband and wife in a tractor-trailer.

Jones, 32, reportedly ordered the man to leave at gunpoint and took the wife as a hostage.

Police caught up with the truck near a mall beginning a three-hour chase that was carried on local television. At one point, more than 15 squad cars and armored vehicles took part.

Department of Public Safety troopers forced the vehicle to stop at about 7:30 p.m. on the western edge of Fort Worth when a trooper fired a rifle at the radiator and tires. Smoke could be seen rising beneath the vehicle, and diesel fuel pooled on the roadway.

SWAT team members surrounded Jones after police expelled him from the cab with tear gas.

Along the route from south Dallas into Fort Worth, people gathered on overpasses and stopped their cars in traffic to watch the truck, which was running on its tireless front rims.

Police do not know what motivated the hijacking.

  I think I'll file this one under Idiot!

 


 




Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 @ 12:35 pm by MsMarti
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File Under:
Sleeping at Work

When will I learn?  If I take a nap at 5:00 in the afternoon, it will keep me up at night! 

Here are the twenty five best responses if found asleep at your desk!

25. "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"

24. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

23. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

22. "You don't discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!"

21. "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."

20. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

19. "Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

18. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

17. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."

16. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

15. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

14. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

13. "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

12. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

11. "This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress."

10. "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!"

9. "I was working smarter-not harder."

8. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

7. "I'm in the management training program."

6. "The coffee machine is broken."

5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

2. "Its okay. I'm still billing the client."

And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:

1. "... and I especially want to thank you for my excellent boss. Amen."

Sleeping Dad

My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep.

Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven.

When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up.

"Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!"





Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 @ 06:03 am by MsMarti
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File Under:
Cake Decorating

My daughter is getting ready to move away for college.  I always knew one day this might happen, but I never really knew it would happen. 

I've realized 2 things....

1.  When she moves away I'm going to have extra time on my  hands, and

2.  When she moves away I'm going to have extra time on my hands.

So, I've started taking cake decorating classes.  You know, since my daughter is eighttteeeeeeen I can impress everybody with Disney character birthday cakes and happy face cup cakes.  I tell ya, I'm such a good planner, sometimes I even amaze myself!

We're on class number three and I've already learned some handy tricks.  Like.....it's not as hard as it looks!  

It's all in the icing.  We don't use just any icing, grabbing a can of betty crocker icing days are OVER.  We make homemade icing.  Icing from scratch with powdered meringue.  I never knew there was such a thing.  There are three types of icing:

Stiff Consistency: Used for flowers.

Medium Consistency: Used for borders, stars, and petals.

Thin Consistency: Used for writing letters, leaves, and icing the cake.

I never knew icing was so complex.  Bye bye betty crocker!

Another trick is applying those fancy designs to the cake.  You think they draw those fancy designs freehand?  WRONG!  You use a pattern.  Outline the pattern on wax paper with icing, then lay the wax paper on the cake (icing side down) lift wax paper and there you have your outline.  Just fill in the rest with icing.  See, not as hard as it looks.

Here are a few decorations we have done so far. 

Zig Zag: 

The Star:

The Rose:

Of course, none of this is possible without the 1000's of tips to choose from:

And did you know another trick is to use a turntable to turn the cake easily while you ice it?

I would post pictures of my flowers, but I didn't take any!

The cake at the top is made with Fondant.  That's the class I'm holding out for.  But that class isn't for three more months!

Everything you ever wanted to know about cake decorating:

Wilton

Bake Decorate Celebrate

Cake Anyone?

A man was sitting with a few beers watching T.V.  When his wife came home she opened the door and said to her husband, "Honey, could you please fix this door, it's gonna fall off"!  He replied, "Do I look like I have Mitre10 written on my head"?

She said nothing.  Later, she asked him to fix the ladder so she could change the light bulb "Honey, will you please change the light bulb"? he said, "Do I look like I have HandyMan written on my head"?

Then she asked if he could wash the car "Honey, will you please wash the car"? and he said, "Do I look like I have Shell Service written on my head?

He became so angry.  He said "Work, work, work, I'm going to the pub"!

When he came home later that night he noticed the door, light and car had all been fixed.

"How did you do that"? He asked his wife.

She told him that when she had been sitting on the doorstep crying when he left, a nice man came and asked if he could help her.  She told him what had happened and he said he would make the repairs and all she had to do for payment was bake him a cake or be his wife.

Her husband asked "What kind of cake did you make"?

To which she replied, "Do I look like I have BettyCrocker written on my head"?

The Great Escape

Redneck Wedding Cake




Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 @ 01:06 am by MsMarti
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File Under:
Doggie Tails

Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:

"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least; however, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities; however, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign ALSO says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

The Law of If......

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you
when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,.


THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG!

 

I'm considering getting a dog.  Lab's are my favorite, but it will depend on what's at the SPCA.  My daughter is moving next month to start college.  My cats are too quite and sleep too much.  

I needed a dog fix.  If I keep having these uncontrollable urges I will soon be posting pictures on my new dog and my angry kitties.    

It's like......if you are wanting a baby.  You "borrow" someone else's everytime you have an urge.  Usually, afterwards you don't want a baby anymore.  If the urge keeps coming back, then you know you need one of your own! 




Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 @ 07:37 pm by MsMarti
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