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Posted on Thursday, July 27, 2006 @ 06:08 am by  MsMarti
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Blog IQ
Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 @ 06:01 am by MsMarti
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Gunman hijacks 18-wheeler in Texas
Big News Network
Monday 24th July, 2006 (UPI)
A gunman is being held on aggravated kidnapping charges after hijacking a truck and leading Dallas police on a three-hour chase through four counties.
Samuel Scott Jones was captured after his female hostage fled the truck and police fired tear gas into the cab of the 18-wheeler, the Dallas Morning News reports.
State troopers shot out the truck's tires and radiator forcing it to a stop in the middle of Interstate 20.
Police think the incident began when Jones hijacked a car in Carrollton and drove to a truck stop in the town of Fairview where he approached a husband and wife in a tractor-trailer.
Jones, 32, reportedly ordered the man to leave at gunpoint and took the wife as a hostage.
Police caught up with the truck near a mall beginning a three-hour chase that was carried on local television. At one point, more than 15 squad cars and armored vehicles took part.
Department of Public Safety troopers forced the vehicle to stop at about 7:30 p.m. on the western edge of Fort Worth when a trooper fired a rifle at the radiator and tires. Smoke could be seen rising beneath the vehicle, and diesel fuel pooled on the roadway.
SWAT team members surrounded Jones after police expelled him from the cab with tear gas.
Along the route from south Dallas into Fort Worth, people gathered on overpasses and stopped their cars in traffic to watch the truck, which was running on its tireless front rims.
Police do not know what motivated the hijacking. I think I'll file this one under Idiot!
Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 @ 12:35 pm by MsMarti
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When will I learn? If I take a nap at 5:00 in the afternoon, it will keep me up at night!
Here are the twenty five best responses if found asleep at your desk!
25. "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"
24. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
23. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
22. "You don't discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!"
21. "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
20. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
19. "Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
18. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
17. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."
16. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
15. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
14. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
13. "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
12. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
11. "This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress."
10. "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!"
9. "I was working smarter-not harder."
8. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
7. "I'm in the management training program."
6. "The coffee machine is broken."
5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
2. "Its okay. I'm still billing the client."
And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:
1. "... and I especially want to thank you for my excellent boss. Amen."
Sleeping Dad
My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep.
Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven.
When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up.
"Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!"
Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 @ 06:03 am by MsMarti
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My daughter is getting ready to move away for college. I always knew one day this might happen, but I never really knew it would happen.
I've realized 2 things....
1. When she moves away I'm going to have extra time on my hands, and
2. When she moves away I'm going to have extra time on my hands.
So, I've started taking cake decorating classes. You know, since my daughter is eighttteeeeeeen I can impress everybody with Disney character birthday cakes and happy face cup cakes. I tell ya, I'm such a good planner, sometimes I even amaze myself!
We're on class number three and I've already learned some handy tricks. Like.....it's not as hard as it looks!
It's all in the icing. We don't use just any icing, grabbing a can of betty crocker icing days are OVER. We make homemade icing. Icing from scratch with powdered meringue. I never knew there was such a thing. There are three types of icing:
Stiff Consistency: Used for flowers.
Medium Consistency: Used for borders, stars, and petals.
Thin Consistency: Used for writing letters, leaves, and icing the cake.
I never knew icing was so complex. Bye bye betty crocker!
Another trick is applying those fancy designs to the cake. You think they draw those fancy designs freehand? WRONG! You use a pattern. Outline the pattern on wax paper with icing, then lay the wax paper on the cake (icing side down) lift wax paper and there you have your outline. Just fill in the rest with icing. See, not as hard as it looks.
Here are a few decorations we have done so far.
Zig Zag:
The Star:
The Rose:
Of course, none of this is possible without the 1000's of tips to choose from:
And did you know another trick is to use a turntable to turn the cake easily while you ice it?
I would post pictures of my flowers, but I didn't take any!
The cake at the top is made with Fondant. That's the class I'm holding out for. But that class isn't for three more months!
Everything you ever wanted to know about cake decorating:
Wilton
Bake Decorate Celebrate
Cake Anyone?
A man was sitting with a few beers watching T.V. When his wife came home she opened the door and said to her husband, "Honey, could you please fix this door, it's gonna fall off"! He replied, "Do I look like I have Mitre10 written on my head"?
She said nothing. Later, she asked him to fix the ladder so she could change the light bulb "Honey, will you please change the light bulb"? he said, "Do I look like I have HandyMan written on my head"?
Then she asked if he could wash the car "Honey, will you please wash the car"? and he said, "Do I look like I have Shell Service written on my head?
He became so angry. He said "Work, work, work, I'm going to the pub"!
When he came home later that night he noticed the door, light and car had all been fixed.
"How did you do that"? He asked his wife.
She told him that when she had been sitting on the doorstep crying when he left, a nice man came and asked if he could help her. She told him what had happened and he said he would make the repairs and all she had to do for payment was bake him a cake or be his wife.
Her husband asked "What kind of cake did you make"?
To which she replied, "Do I look like I have BettyCrocker written on my head"?
The Great Escape
Redneck Wedding Cake
Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 @ 01:06 am by MsMarti
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Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:
"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least; however, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time.
By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities; however, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign ALSO says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"
The Law of If......
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you
when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,.
THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG!
I'm considering getting a dog. Lab's are my favorite, but it will depend on what's at the SPCA. My daughter is moving next month to start college. My cats are too quite and sleep too much.
I needed a dog fix. If I keep having these uncontrollable urges I will soon be posting pictures on my new dog and my angry kitties.
It's like......if you are wanting a baby. You "borrow" someone else's everytime you have an urge. Usually, afterwards you don't want a baby anymore. If the urge keeps coming back, then you know you need one of your own!
Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 @ 07:37 pm by MsMarti
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Confessions of a Garage Sale Junkie
Excuse me, has this been used?
When my daughter was little I used to get up early on Saturday mornings to go garage sale'n, porch sale'n, and yard sale'n for baby clothes, toys, and any other bargains I could find. I followed every sign on a stick, a mailbox or a pole until I reached my destination. I knew it was going to be a good day when I found the ones that said "neighborhood sale". A garage sale paradise indeed.
I was also so proud of being the first one there. I knew that meant I wasn't going to miss out on the GOOD STUFF.
Excuse me, how much is the leftover carton of decorated Easter eggs? Will you take .75 .50 cents for the stale potpourri? How much for the used tupperware? Does that include the melted lids? What about the beautiful floor rug covered in dog hair? I know after I take it home, stuff it in my washing machine and pick off all the fuzz balls, it would be a bargain indeed and my garage sale'n day would be complete.
I would often wondered though, can you find bargains like these at the local Goodwill store? Will someone please tell me the difference between a garage sale and Goodwill?! How come is it we will brag about the bargains we find at a garage sale, be proud that we conned them down from 2.00 to .75 cents for a set of dishes, invite our friends to come along with us and even wrap up a new toaster we found for 1.00 and give it to Aunt Betty for her birthday, but would never be caught dead in a Goodwill store buying that junk! And we would never ask a friend to come with us. In fact, if we did buy something from Goodwill we would tell our friends we bought it at a garage sale!
Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 @ 09:23 pm by MsMarti
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I have always tried to pay attention to the artery clogging labels and the foods behind them.
They say it is better to eat every 2-3 hours. No problem! But this isn't rocket science, I don't think they meant banana splits and bon bons. So, I've taken a different approach. Darn it.
I've made up some snacks that actually have a flavor to them and are of a variety. I have incorporated these into my daily, I mean....hourly routine of eating:
First on the list: Peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich. Have you ever tried it? You know how they saying goes, don't knock it till you've tried it. If you're not a fan of banana's you substitute them for something like, ummm......tomatoes? or strawberries? Hey, you might like it! I on the other hand like banana's, so I've never had to rely on my other recommendations. But if you have an urge to try it, let me how you liked it!
Grilled Peanut Butter, Jelly and Banana Sandwich recipe.
Peanut Butter Sandwich Jigsaw game.
Second on the list: Rabbit food! spiced up with lots of salad dressing.
Third on the list: My favorite......homemade ice cream, I mean homemade smoothies. I meant it when I said I've taken a different approach! I say homemade because I make the ingredients up as I go. Well, not totally. I did read a couple of smoothie recipes to be sure I was getting the entire smoothie experience.
I bought a very nifty smoothie blender and I love it because it requires NO COOKING!
Most of my smoothies contain some or all of the following:
Milk, orange juice, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, vanilla extract, yogurt, frozen oj concentrate, sherbert and ice.
Advocare meal replacement shakes. These are also good in a smoothie.
Frozen grapes. These are great snacks especially in the hot summer.
Posted on Sunday, July 16, 2006 @ 01:11 pm by MsMarti
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Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 @ 08:47 am by MsMarti
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I live in Texas but I'm originally from Springfield, Missouri. I go back home several times during the year and especially to celebrate the 4th of July. It's a family reunion every year. We have aunts, uncles, grandparents, brothers, sisters, in-laws, kids, and grandkids.
There is never a dull moment when we visit my uncle. I would describe him as the mischievous one that always makes the trip worthwhile. Several years ago he bought a hearse from a rock band that used it to haul their equipment around in. He fixed it up by repainting it black, it already had a strand of purple lights that outlined the bottom of the outside frame going all the way around the vehicle, which he kept. He added a coffin in the back and filled it with a mummy, then he placed another mummy in the back seat directly behind the drivers seat and placed a scary looking monster mask on him. He rolled down the window half way so when he drives around everyone can see it. And he was not embarrassed to drive his hearse around town at any given time. To keep it running and in good condition he drives it all during the year mummies included!
When it's time for the fireworks show to begin, everyone piles into the hearse and off we go. We have a favorite place we go every year. We (with several other hundred people) park in a huge parking lot directly across the highway where the show takes place. It's one of the largest show's in town. They live in a small town but the show is great. Usually, we watch the show right from the hearse. We always enjoy watching people's facial expressions when they see us. It's quiet entertaining for everyone. We have made some wonderful memories for our kids, it's a tradition I hope we are able to keep up for many more years to come.
Posted on Thursday, July 06, 2006 @ 09:36 pm by MsMarti
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